5 Helpful Things You Need To Do When Life Gets Tough

When life gets tough, your first instinct might be to crawl into bed and hide under the covers seeking comfort and warmth. Or, you might be one of those people who refuses to take time off to deal with the situation, ignoring it and hoping it just goes away.

Hard times are definitely a test of your strength and resilience. In April 2017, I found out how I handle these kinds of situations when my mother had a stroke. It was one of the most difficult events I’ve ever had to deal with and I learned a lot.

I thought I would share some of what I realized along the way with you. So, here are five things you should do when life gets tough.

What To Do When Life Gets Tough

Talk To Someone

It’s no good bottling up all your feelings thinking you’re being strong. Yes, there will be times when you need to be strong especially if it’s a medical emergency. But, once the emergency is over and you’re facing the aftermath, get your thoughts out of your head. It’s very healthy to be able to voice them.

Often, we make things ten times worse than they really are when we handle situations by ourselves. We tend to think the absolute worst and it can rapidly spiral out of control.

When you speak to someone about how you’re feeling, whether it’s a friend or therapist, they’ll be able to calm you down and put a logical spin on things.

Feel

The next thing you need to do is feel. You’re allowed to be scared, upset, angry or a million other things in a bad situation. Don’t bury your feelings deep down and ignore them. Eventually, they’ll present themselves in a way you might not like.

I was terrified when my mother had her stroke but I was the one who took over the situation. I took her to the hospital and stayed with her while the doctors did their tests and figured out exactly how bad it was. During that time, I held my feelings in. I did not want to scare her by breaking down myself.

After she was admitted to the hospital and I left for the night, suddenly I didn’t need to be the rock anymore. I could let myself feel whatever it was that was swirling around inside and I did.

Give Yourself Grace

In the months after my mom returned home, I assumed responsibility for all of the things that she usually did and more. This included cleaning the house, doing laundry and cooking, all while looking after her and making sure she had everything she needed.

I felt like I owed it to her to make sure the house was clean and that I stayed on top of everything she did. I put so much pressure on myself to live up to what I thought her (and others’) expectations were of me.

And you know what? Eventually, I burned out. I forgot that my mother was retired and had seven days each week to take her time and do everything you need to in order to keep a house clean and tidy. I, on the other hand, was working full-time and trying to cram everything in all on my own.

My body rebelled and after a trip to the doctor, I came to my senses. I started to adjust my cleaning routine to allow for a more relaxed schedule—one that made sense for my lifestyle.

I also stopped caring what other people thought. So what if there were a few crumbs on the kitchen floor? It was still pretty clean. So what if there was a small pile of old newspapers from that week in a chair? I would deal with those at the end of the week.

This mindset shift helped me to regain my health over time. And, this was crucial. If I wasn’t healthy, then I couldn’t take care of anyone else.

Ask for Help

When life gets tough, it’s okay to ask for help. Doing this came hand-in-hand with the realization that I needed to do less. I put my family to work and started delegating chores. Over time, I assigned small tasks to my mother as well, as part of her rehabilitation.

Having other people take some of the load off my shoulders was a blessing. I felt so much relief at the thought that I didn’t need to do everything in order for it to be done.

Be Grateful

I was so incredibly grateful to still have my mother in my life. Even though she has changed a bit physically and mentally, she’s still the same wonderful woman who took care of me my entire life. I am so happy she’s still around.

It can be really hard to see the bright side when you feel like you’re stuck in a bad place but there’s always something to be grateful for. Get a notepad and pen, sit in a quiet place and write down anything you can think of that makes you happy. It can be the smallest thing like being able to hear the birds outside. (There are some people who can’t do that.)

Focus on the positive instead of surrounding yourself with negativity. It may not be the easiest thing to do but it is possible. This list of things to remember when life gets rough can help.

I hope that my experiences and suggestions will help you when life gets tough. Please share any other tips you have for dealing with the bad times in the comments below.

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